People compare their wealth to Lionel Messi or Bill Gates, not their neighbors or fellow workers.

But this is an impossible standard.

Lionel Messi had some personal talent, a huge amount of work, and, likely, some luck and some circumstances.

Bill Gates had relevant studies, was born in a wealthy country, and had the luck to be the right person at the right time.

How many people at the Messi or Gates level did Romania ever have? Only a few, and in other areas, not in football/computer software.

Of course, if you compare yourself to an impossible standard, you’ll likely feel discouraged and do nothing. “I can’t ever be Messy, so I’ll do nothing!”

But Messi is the exception.

In my opinion, people should compare themselves with the people next to them: a colleague, a nearby person, some friend.

Surely, most of them will not be enormously wealthy, but they’ll likely set a standard you can attain.

You can’t be Messy? OK, but how about being the person who works at a stadium in Bucharest where Messi will only once come in their lifetime?

You can’t be Gates? OK, how about you sell some computer software, even if it’s not a revolutionary and prevalent operating system?

And another article.

Citește mai departe

In London, I knew someone who used to say: “Definitely, it will happen!”

I liked that phrase so much!

What I remember is the pressure put on getting things done.

OK, you might have some personal problems, obstacles will arise, and there are difficulties and excuses.

But you’ll know for sure – “Definitely, it will happen!”

Citește mai departe

Sigmund Freud is explaining to a colleague the connection between fear and sex in human relationships. The colleague asks: “What comes between fear and sex?” Freud replies: “Fünf.” (source)

Why fear is reasonable when I cross a bridge – it mitigates risk, even though it’s unpleasant.

Looking at what’s beneath the bridge, I fear for my integrity, so I pay attention.

Fear might not be a good feeling, but it saves the day.

Citește mai departe

I recently read somewhere that it’s a good practice that you always start with the same energy, enthusiasm, and motivation whenever you start something.

I was once asked, “Do you wish to work for us?” (it was an online agency).

I knew some negative implications of these (more effort for less money, high dependence on a single employer, lack of diversity, losing my current clients, the bureaucracy of either closing my freelancing company or juggling a dual status – employee and having a personal company at the same time).

My answer was a hesitant yes. When confronted with the question, “Hmm, are you enthusiastic about this?” I gave some possible reasons for not being enthusiastic. As you might imagine, the talk ended there.

The thing is, I still don’t know what I did wrong. I did have fears, and they were reasonable. Did I like the new job? Yes, but with implications, and considerations, and doubts.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this, and logically and rationally, I prefer a person who thinks about the consequences of their actions to an always-happy-always-joyful person who might get disappointed.

When I start something new, I think of what might go wrong and take measures against this.

When trying to foresee what could happen, I put the evil first and take action against it.

Am I constantly happy? Generally, no, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this.

I prefer success to being happy.

Do I take risks and start things? Yes.

Am I always happy? No, and I think that is fine.

I remember an HR person at a conference in college, something like 22 years ago, who talked about a potential employee. That person said in a shallow, monotone, slow, dull voice: “I’m very enthusiastic!”. I like that person’s solution more and more as time passes.

Citește mai departe