How to be confident?

enjosmith - New growth

Dr. Julie Gurner on Twitter:

What is the secret of truly confident people? Let’s pull back the curtain.

Even when you’re fantastic at what you do, you may have moments of insecurity professionally or elsewhere.


The secret is ridiculously simple: Their focus & where they operate.
– Insecure people focus on what they’re *not* good at & confront it often.
– Confident people focus on what they *are* good at & operate here regularly.
This mentally positions them for everything that comes.

The answer seems to be simple – try to focus on what you do best.

A lot of times we focus on the negative.

When you think of feedback from colleagues, negative thoughts come to mind.

When you consider feedback in the formal education, generally the „you’re lacking this” comes up.

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Robertino Radovix - Volti dell' India

Sometimes, I compare myself with great thinkers and writers, and look at the things they’ve read and, most of them, I haven’t.

There’s just a tiny, small, miniscule issue with this thinking – I’m not a professional writer. My main job is not writing.

It’s like comparing a person who jogs half an hour in the evenings with a professional.

And whom do I admire, the „regular” professionals or the top performers? You got it – the top performers. So, coming back to the comparison, it’s like comparing myself with people who win national contests and go to Olympiad to represent the country.
I’ll let myself go this time. ;)

Are those people better? The problem is that there are no terms of comparison. What’s better – water or a spoon? You can’t compare these.

Give me some slack. :)

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When the bad is not that bad

Olaf Arndt - 7 years .. oh god !!! 😳

If you really think about the worst things that happened to you, you might notice they’re not that bad.

At least, this is what happens to me.

A lot of people give this advice: „Focus on the positive, don’t think about the negative aspects!”. But if you look at the negative, and see it’s not that bad, it might be worthwhile to reconsider the logic.

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The paradox of The paradox of choice

darwin Bell - Sophie's Choice

Barry Schwartz has a famous TED Talk on The paradox of choice.

Basically, he says that having multiple options from which to choose can actually make someone rather unhappy with the choice.

I think that if you go in a store, and you see 100 types of jeans, yes, what he says is true.

But if you go in an online store and there are 100 or perhaps even 1,000 types of pants, but you can easily see the ones that have been sold the most, or have recently been added, or you can read an article about the trends of 2021 and out of the 1,000 jeans there are 5 listed which are great, or you read an article that presents you with the most durable jeans, then, perhaps, you’ll be happier.

„I have the best jeans out of a selection of 1,000 jeans” means more than „I went to a store with 5 types of jeans, I thoroughly examined them all, and picked one”.

Sorting and filtering change the behavior.

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Bob May - localisation of function - bottom

Once, a friend asked me about creating a website to post memes (funny things, images, texts, perhaps videos, although it was a bit more complicated those years).

I told him that such ideas already exist in various forms, and his idea is doomed to fail.

9GAG was only founded in 2008, and, at least in Romania, only in recent years, it got very popular.

Did I advise him wrong? Sure!

What would I do now, would he ask me again?

I’d tell him it’s not the idea, but the execution that matters.

Even today you could make a funnier website.

And we’re extremely poor at predicting.

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Câteva idei de la „Summitul Încrederii” – „Wellbeing Institute”

"Summitul Încrederii" - "Wellbeing Institute"

Am ascultat săptămâna aceasta, în fundal, mai multe cursuri de la „Summitul Încrederii” – „Wellbeing Institute”. (Relații armonioase, pline de încredere – Află sfaturi practice pentru a îmbunătăți relația cu tine și cu cei din jur.)

Cred că am trecut chiar prin toate, dar e posibil ca unele idei să îmi fi scăpat, că făceam și alte lucruri.

Câteva idei pe care mi le-am notat, mai jos.

Notă – ordinea e foarte aleatoare, și vă invit să considerați notițele mele ca fiind foarte vagi aproximări.

Sunt lucruri cu care mi-aș dori eu să rămân.

Nu sunt citate exacte, sunt niște idei mai importante, pentru mine.

Scuze că sunt unele și în engleză, altele în română, am scris în funcție de vorbitor, fără să fac traducerea, în general.

Ca o concluzie pentru cele de mai jos – mi-a plăcut foarte mult cursul, a fost foarte util.

Moderatorul întâlnirilor, Ruxandra Mercea, mi s-a părut că dă dovadă de foarte multă bună dispoziție.

Mi-a plăcut foarte mult să văd speakerii destinși, mulți dintre ei râzând și glumind, foarte relaxați și deschiși.

Mi-a adus aminte de cum moderează dna Andreea Esca podcasturile.

Recomand cumpărarea cursului, e de o calitate foarte ridicată, în opinia mea.

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How to write useful and respectful code reviews?

Niklas Wikström - Sharing Is Caring - Fotosöndag

Addy Osmani on Twitter: „Tips for useful, respectful code reviews: – Assume competence (author may have a different context) – Provide specific, actionable feedback – Focus on the code (avoid personal criticism) – Clearly mark nitpicks & optional comments – Provide rationale (e.g refs to a style guide)” / Twitter:

  • Assume competence (author may have a different context)
  • Provide specific, actionable feedback
  • Focus on the code (avoid personal criticism)
  • Clearly mark nitpicks & optional comments
  • Provide rationale (e.g refs to a style guide)

I like this advice a lot!

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rapid links

I visit quite a few websites due to my work, and I’m always amazed by some websites that don’t link out.

Wikipedia links to a lot of websites.

On another hand, some journalists tend to avoid this.

Some bloggers are a bit strange – they link a lot to the websites that pay them or give them an immediate advantage (via affiliate marketing), and few do not at all to websites that don’t give them an advantage.

I think life in general, and the Internet in particular, are a wonder.

It’s a shame to harm both of them (visitors, and search engines – both contribute to the Internet) by not linking out.

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