Non-practice

If you tell a lot of jokes, you might notice this reaction:

• If they know you as a funny person, and trust you, you’re more likely to make people laugh, even with poorer jokes/assertions. Just by saying something mildly funny, people will laugh. When in doubt (Is this a joke?), they’ll tend to laugh.
• If you’re known as a serious person, when telling a joke you might notice this answer – “Hmm, what you say is paradoxical. Are you sure that’s a right assertion?”. “Of course I’m sure, the paradox is actually a joke!”. The problem was not the joke itself, but you being known as a funny person (or, as it the case, less so).

So, if you want to make people laugh, set yourself an image as a funny person.

Two things on the matter:

#1

GoodFellas Tommy DeVito “Funny How?” – YouTube :

#2

George Bernard Shaw’s lively aphorism, “If you want to tell people the truth, you’d better make them laugh or they’ll kill you” (via: If You Want To Tell People the Truth, You’d Better Make Them Laugh or They’ll Kill You – Quote Investigator)

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This quote might look funny, but I find it very insightful:

Groucho Marx’s letter of resignation to the Friars’ Club: “I don’t want to belong to any club that would accept me as one of its members.” (via »)

I tend to use it a lot.

See an article on the topic ».

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When you get an occasion to receive something, you think of yourself, “I deserve this. People don’t know me very well, but I know I’m a good person, I should receive something good. I’m worthy. I’m entitled to this!”.

When analyzing giving something to someone, criteria appears – “Do they deserve this? Is this the gift good fit for them? Am I doing a good thing by helping them?”.

Of course, if you tend to consider yourself worthy of good things coming your way, you should start with the assumption that others are also a good fit.

On the other hand, when analyzing the negative things, one might think “Hmm, I don’t deserve this. But if X receives this, they deserve this.”.

“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you.

“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

(Luke 6:27-36 NIV – Love for Enemies – “But to you who – Bible Gateway)

Why is forgiving and loving enemies so important? Because it’s a battle on two fronts:

• You see yourself as not deserving of a good thing but deserving of a bad thing and accept it with grace.
• You see others doing evil things and still loving them, even if your instincts tell you that even good people shouldn’t be loved.

It looks simple – “How hard is it to view myself as a person not deserving a lot of good things and of others being worthy of love even if they do evil things?”.

In practice, it’s more difficult than it appears.

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In the Old Testament there are some rules meant to change how people behave in a specific context.

In the New Testament, there’s yet, another change – updating the old Laws, changing the paradigm, and making it Universal.

The first rule in life? Change things (aiming for the better, of course). The second rule? Change them in such a way that you do a positive thing.

The New Man – the Church wants people to change, for the better, of course. But, first, change.

The first rule is change; only the second one is actually succeeding.

At least, that’s how I see things.

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There are quite a few people who follow me on various social media.

I tend not to follow back; although I’m on a few networks, I tend not to follow back the people who follow me.

The reason is simple – I think social media is harming people, so I prefer to use it as little as possible.

But I admit – my logic might make some people suffer.

Sorry about that.

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I used to have an email address similar to “Without any peace.”

I received some concerned questions – “What’s with the email address? Is something wrong?”.

I used to be, at that point, without any peace, I was fighting with some thoughts. And I put it plainly in the view.

Later on, I wrote a big article, and even later on, I found my peace.

But the process of healing couldn’t have started without first acknowledging there’s an issue.

So, when people were worried about my questions, it would have been better to be worried about the answer.

I think it’s better to be very honest about yourself, even if that implies some dark thoughts, rather than hide the truth.

Putting it in plain sight helped me understand the issue and, later on, find the solution.

In conclusion, if you notice a dark pattern in you, don’t hide it, but face it.

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To me, loving another entity without an interest in this is when you don’t have to think about this.

When you love that entity and think, “But I don’t want something back,” it means you’re considering this.

Example #1: You love X but expect to be loved back. You are faithful to X but expect the same. This is conditioned, love.

Example #2: On the other hand, when you love X but think, “They can do whatever they wish,” you still think you deserve some things.

Optimal? Loving X, but not even thinking about receiving something back.

On a side note, loving X, even with conditions, is much better than not loving at all. Good is good, no matter the context. Do good; it’s the hard thing to do, and it’s the optimal solution. Even if you have benefited from doing good, you should still do this.

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In a small village in the woods where some relatives live, we have a relatively good phone connection with only one mobile network provider.

That provider did some rather nasty things in the past with us and even in recent times.

Two options for looking at the situation:

• “They are evil; we must get our revenge!”;
• “They are doing us a service by providing mobile network connection even in remote areas; we should be grateful to them!”.

I like the second option better.

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I once had a talk with a work colleague about who’s the most economically developed country in the world.

I kept insisting it was the US.

He kept saying that there are other countries, more economically developed.

What I meant was national GDP. What he meant was GDP per capita.

Even if the US is the largest economy in the world, for the everyday citizen, it’s more important the GDP per capita since it reflects the state of an individual.

In sports events, there are countries that get a lot of medals (USA, China), since they have large economies and populations.

But when a small country earns a medal, I think it’s more relevant since the medal per capita is an adequate comparison.

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There’s a quote that argues, “Nice guys finish last.”

In a nutshell, when applied to the romantic field, there are two types of connections:

• Other than sex, where nice guys do fine.
• Sex, where nice guys might not be that attractive.

And, the quote argues, nice guys can’t get into a “good” relationship due to their being too nice.

First, I would doubt right from the start the concept of nice. You might be weak, you might not be aggressive, but you also might not be nice. This is a question to be posed, but not in this article.

Then, considering, yes, a nice person might not be attractive sexually.

In this case, I would separate the women into those who care about this thing and those who aren’t that interested in this aspect.

As a personal preference, I would look for women who like nice guys more than others. From other people’s stories, I hear they might be in lower numbers. I don’t care that much about that.

“I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member” ― Groucho Marx

(in my case, this is the opposite situation)

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