In „Salman Rushdie Teaches Storytelling and Writing | MasterClass” there was, at some point, a focus on how people talk – if you write something, it will help imagining a real person talking.
To me, that’s rather difficult. I tend to talk like I write, and this empathetic exercise is rather difficult.
But it would be a nice thing to try, in the future.
Mai jos, resursele cele mai importante, pentru mine, ale lunilor decembrie 2020 + febuarie 2021. Pot fi suprapuneri de la o secțiune la alta.
It might look to you that whenever you say „Freedom of choice”, it’s about the last moment: „Should I eat, right now, this unhealthy but tasty food?”, or „Should I stay late and have fun, or be a party pooper, but have a good night’s sleep?”. Things like that – the last moment, when you make the final decision.
„Oh, if only at time X I had chosen a different path …”.
But, to me, the freedom of choice is mostly not on short-term, but on long-term acts.
If at the end of the day you make a poor decision, there were some factors leading to that decision:
The most important observation of this blog post is that long-term decisions affect a lot of short-term decisions. If you’re aware of a poor habit and ignore it, you take some risks. Whenever the risks happen to actually lead to a bad situation, the problem is not only that at that specific moment you took a poor decision, but the fact that you had a long-term habit, which you kept on ignoring.
Most of the time, when people analyze a situation, they focus on just the last bit. If I take a poor grade on an exam, I’ll look at the time of the exam – „Oh, I took a C because I missed just the part which was chosen for the test”. How about you look at a more situation: „I could have slept better in the last year; I could have focused on reading more on the courses; I could have joined a learning group; I could have read extra materials on the subject; I could have written on the matter, so I would have made more associations”.
Why is focusing on the long-term helpful? Because it leads to better habits, and, to me, these are more important than sprints. You can sprint for one good grade on an exam, but it matters more if you can commit to a marathon of lifelong learning.
I got at least one idea by listening to Despre relațiile din copilărie și cum să menții pacea în cuplu, cu Paul Olteanu și Alexandra Irod – YouTube (RO):
It happens to me a lot. I used to reply to pretty much all emails/comments. Now, I do so but to a lesser degree.
I used to be very upset when someone wrote something bad online about me. Now, I tend to control it better.
I used to post a lot of things on social media, now – I still do so, but on other means (blog, Google groups).
What’s the solution? Posting fewer things? No, I do it for multiple reasons, not only for personal satisfaction.
Not caring about a message someone sends to me? I don’t think that’s very OK. Sure, if it’s a SPAM/very aggressive message, I can choose to ignore it. But for a general message – I will generally choose to reply, even though now I understand there are some underlying reasons.
What I need to work on is the general image I make in my mind whenever I get an aggressive message. Right now, it’s not that pleasant.
More than this, I need to place myself in the world better. I wrote about this in the past (1, 2, 3). I still need to fix some things in there.
I found out about WOOP via a great online course (“The Science of Well-Being” by Yale University | Coursera).
WOOP is a science-based mental strategy that people can use to find and fulfill their wishes, set preferences, and change their habits. (Home — WOOP my life)
What is the WOOP method?
- W: Think about your wish;
- O: The best outcome;
- O: Potential obstacles;
- P: Your if/then plan.
(via »)
There’s also a book: Gabriele Oettingen, Rethinking Positive Thinking: Inside the New Science of Motivation (a nice introduction to the work on using implementation intention and WOOP in your daily life).
And an article: Stop Being So Positive. And another one: WOOP – Science’s #1 Tool For Goal Achievement and Habit Change.
A quote related to the obstacles:
“When is a monster not a monster? Oh, when you love it.” ― Caitlyn Siehl
Some thoughts:
You can’t be fearless. Avoiding fear 100% is, in my opinion, not only impossible but also undesirable. But one can fear less.
The acronym “F.e.a.r.” (False Evidence/Expectations Appearing Real) comes to mind whenever I talk about fear.
Via a great online course (“The Science of Well-Being” by Yale University | Coursera) I found out a definition of savoring:
Savoring = The act of stepping outside of an experience to review and appreciate it. (via »)
I tend not to savor things a lot. I’m always in a hurry, pretty much whatever I do. When I walk, I let my mind wander. Whenever I eat, I think of something else. When I work, I listen to something in the background. Whenever someone speaks, sometimes I think of something to say back, instead of being at the moment.
Some drawbacks:
What to do? Concrete steps:
Note – I am not responsible for any problems that may arise from using a macro!
Let’s say you have a list:
word1
word2
word3
You need to convert this into:
word1, word2, word3
Sure, it’s not hard to do it just one time. But what happens if you need this on a regular basis?
I’ve created a Microsoft Word macro that helps with that.
You have an empty document looking like this:
word1
word2
word3
It will convert this into:
word1, word2, word3
In the end, after you run it, it cuts the data, all you need is to paste.
How to install a Macro for Word? Details #1 ». Details #2.
Sub Din_Enter_in_virgula_Din_Lista_Verticala_in_Lista_Orizontala()
‘
‘ Macro1 Macro
‘
‘
Selection.WholeStory
Selection.Find.ClearFormatting
Selection.Find.Replacement.ClearFormatting
With Selection.Find
.Text = „^p”
.Replacement.Text = „, ”
.Forward = True
.Wrap = wdFindContinue
.Format = False
.MatchCase = False
.MatchWholeWord = False
.MatchWildcards = False
.MatchSoundsLike = False
.MatchAllWordForms = False
End With
Selection.Find.Execute Replace:=wdReplaceAllSelection.WholeStory
Selection.Find.ClearFormatting
Selection.Find.Replacement.ClearFormatting
With Selection.Find
.Text = „, ^p”
.Replacement.Text = „”
.Forward = True
.Wrap = wdFindContinue
.Format = False
.MatchCase = False
.MatchWholeWord = False
.MatchWildcards = False
.MatchSoundsLike = False
.MatchAllWordForms = False
End With
Selection.Find.Execute Replace:=wdReplaceAll
Selection.CutEnd Sub
You can add a macro to quick launch in Word, and this is how to install macros in Word.
Let’s say you want to choose some categories for your blog (I wrote in Romanian why you shouldn’t, generally, use tags on WordPress, but, instead, categories – Ce alegi între categorii și etichete pentru articolele WordPress? – Blog de Olivian Breda).
You have three categories:
Category 1
Category 2
Category 3
In my opinion, the best solution is to also have another category,
zzz. Uncategorized
, and have this as a default.
So, when you will post a new article on the blog, you will be forced to pick between categories 1-3.
But, in case you will forget to pick a category, the blog post will automatically be assigned to category „zzz. Uncategorized”.
It will be then easy to see that there’s something wrong, as the category
„zzz. Uncategorized”
, which should have zero articles in it, now has one blog post.
TV cartoon called G. I. Joe: „Now you know. And knowing is half the battle.”
Just knowing about a thing doesn’t allow you to make some connections.
That’s why I like writing on this blog. It’s actually a very nice activity, I get enthusiastic about it. I enjoy every moment.
On one hand, it helps me structure my mind – if I write in order for others to understand, I have to make the ideas clear to me, first.
On another hand, I can be more open. If I write, I’ll put myself out there. I’m exposed, out in the open, I put my thoughts free for all. Anyone can see how I think.
All-in-all, blogging helps with making connections. And this helps with understanding.
I actually recommend this to others – if you want to know better, teach others.
There’s a learning method called „The Feynman Technique”, which has the following steps for learning:
- Pretend to teach a concept you want to learn about to a student in the sixth grade.
- Identify gaps in your explanation. Go back to the source material to better understand it.
- Organize and simplify.
- Transmit (optional).
Although transmitting is optional, I think it helps a lot.