There’s a song which says:

“… Mă consum pân-o să mă fac scrum” (Alina Eremia – Cum se face – YouTube)

(adapted translation) “… I stress myself so much, that I’ll turn into ashes. I’m burning!”

Should you do it? Should you allow yourself to be so immersed into the living, that you feel you’re burning?

It depends. On one hand, stressing yourself too much might not bring you good results. You might lose some health aspects, you might live less, you might have an unpleasant life.

On another hand, if you’re into the flow, if you’re enjoying what you do daily, you might do some great things.

So, it’s unclear. I’d say it like this – if “burning” helps you do good work, and it doesn’t affect your health (physical and mental), do it.

If you get too stressed, do stress over this, too – how to stop being so stressed?

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Sometimes, I get offended.

But, whenever I write something on this blog I try to speak about things that happen, as far as I can tell, to more than a single person.

So, if X does something that gets me upset, I’ll generally avoid writing about that thing.

But, if there is a generally bad thing (a company doing poor things to lots of people; a bad thing in the society), I will consider writing about this.

Why the difference?

• If I’m the one being offended, I am allowed to forgive that bad thing. It’s OK.
• If there is more than one party offended, it’s just for me to take action.

„Ai dreptul să ierți numai ce s-a făcut în paguba ta.” (Nicolae Iorga)
(via Nicolae Steinhardt »)

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I have vivid memories from the first part of my life when certain persons of authority (mostly, teachers), wanted to show that they had power.

And they did, they did have power.

But, at what cost?

What did it cost to put this power into practice?

People had not only power but also exercised this power aggressively. It felt like thorns.

I do have positive memories, moments of happiness, times of enjoyment.

But there were also times when people in power abused their power.

How did I use to look at their shadows?

As if it were huge, with immense power.

Because some pain of the thorns was real, even if the power was fictive.

The solution? Do some therapy, try to view the past as not-so-bad, associate good things with it, calm your emotions.

But some remains of the thorns are still there.

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In an interview (BANII TE FAC SĂRAC!), Robert Kiyosaki said:

«I don’t think about petty things. People think about petty things» – Robert Kiyosaki

This is so great!

It’s so irrelevant to think about the small things and to ignore the big stuff in life.

Sure, “big things” can mean different things to different people.

But focusing on the “small aspects”, talking about trivial things, might stop you from doing greater things.

Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg are told to have a limited wardrobe, not focusing so much on the small decision.

Barack Obama used to choose between just two options when picking a wardrobe, as a President.

Sure, it matters to look fine. But it matters even more to keep the focus where it’s important.

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Slowing down the pace might help with managing emotions better.

Do listen to this song:

(STEPAN PROJECT & PAUL GRIGORIU – Cât de mult te-am iubit… – YouTube)

It’s about loving a person. But it’s also about talking in a slow, friendly, calm voice, which gets to your mind.

Or this one, in English:

(Diamonds And Rust – YouTube)

Speaking slower might help you become calmer.

You don’t need to do so each time you speak, but a bit of an exercise like talking like the person in the video can do miracles.

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Emotions (or e-motions) determine behavior.

They matter so much!

I know a lot of people in the IT industry focusing on developing technical skills, and completely ignoring the so-called “soft skills”.

The thing is, “soft skills” can be rather difficult/hard to acquire.

And, for work efficiency, for good results, for creativity – it may matter more if you can balance hard/soft skills than if you’re not at 93% level in PHP, but at 97%.

Sure, you can’t work in IT without at least average knowledge.

But, after a while, it may be more relevant to focus on the soft, than improve the hard skills.

I tried to apply this in my life.

Meeting people, doing theater acting, going to conferences.

Even culture – reading, watching movies, and all-in-all immersing in online culture, might help.

“But fiction has at least three advantages. We have access to the character’s interior world in a way we normally do not with journalism, and we are more likely to willingly suspend disbelief without questioning the veracity of what people are saying. Finally, novels allow us to do something that is hard to do in our own lives, which is to view a character’s life over many years.” – Does reading fiction make us better people? – BBC Future

Emotions help with the visible part of life – they keep the motion going.

Other than this, I’ll say this again – the most important thing for working efficiently is passion. It’s not the physical part, but the inner-thinking and passion.

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“Parafrazînd o aserţiune augustiniană, pot spune doar atît: citeşte şi fă ce vrei…” – Ioan F. Pop – “Citește și fă ce vrei”

On reading / readers: “Iată de ce Humanitas a fost – și este – încercarea de-o viață de a da răspuns acelei întrebări de tinerețe, strădania de a  face să intre în lume trupul de carne al spiritului, cartea,  pesemne singurul trup al spiritului care există.” – Gabriel Liiceanu – Cum pătrunde spiritul în lume? (La o aniversară)

It might look that the best thing you can do for self-development is to read. Want to become better? Read. Want to do something good? Read.

Some objections to this logic:

• I know people who read a lot and do other forms of cultural activities (like watching movies and being absorbed in culture) and don’t work too much. It’s their choice to decide “I prefer to read, not to work”, but I don’t this is an ideal state of living. It’s nothing bad with reading, but when the reading stops you from doing something with your life, that’s not so great.
• You might know people (some of them are famous) who read (or used to read) a lot, and they can do bad deeds. It’s just not true – “read and do whatever you please”. You can read and, still, generally, be an evil person.
• Finally, there are many ways in which a person’s formation gets shaped. I find it difficult to think that a person reading 10 hours a day knows more about life than a person who reads much less but is engaged in other activities. It’s great if you can read a lot, but it’s not the only way to have a formation. There are so many things to watch, listen to, and do, there’s places to visit – and, in the end, it’s the (perhaps-boring) work. If you work a lot, things tend to happen to you.

“I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.” – Thomas Jefferson

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