Barry Schwartz, Dorwin Cartwright Professor of Social Theory and Social Action at Swarthmore College:

He thinks too much choice overwhelms us and makes us unhappy—a phenomenon he calls the paradox of choice. Endless choices, Schwartz says, are more stultifying than gratifying. In one canonical experiment dubbed “the jam study,” grocery-store shoppers scanning 24 different gourmet jams were less likely to make a purchase than shoppers who looked at only six jams. The shoppers choosing from a wider selection were also unhappier with the jam they’d bought.

I think it’s good to have some limits. If I want to buy a PC, I won’t start reading about every processor out there, I’ll only focus on a few choices.

If I want to pick a PC format, I’ll choose between a few options.

What about RAM? I’ll focus either on speed, price, or performance/price.

What about SSDs? There are so many options. Yes, but I can filter by a few criteria.

So, if your dating criteria is “it’s a man/woman”, you’ll have a lot of options, and you might think you could have gotten a better option.

But if you have limiting criteria, there are far fewer options.

I tend not to like artificial limits.

“You should spend 2x your monthly salary for a car. You should save 10% of your income, donate 10% and invest 10%. Buy recycled. Walk instead of taking the bus.”

If I set the criteria for myself, I’ll enjoy it. If I feel the criteria is imposed, I won’t like it as much.

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²⁴ He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, ‘Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, ²⁵ so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here, you have what is yours.’ ²⁶ But his master answered him, ‘You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed? ²⁷ Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. (Matthew 25:24-27 ESV – He also who had received the one talent – Bible Gateway)

Some people might say – “Because you’re a severe person, I fear you, thus I don’t communicate with you”. And the answer comes, paradoxically – “Because I’m a severe person, for this reason alone you should communicate with me”.

I once had a teacher in primary school. He was considered and rumored to be severe.

One time, he came a bit unexpectedly to the classroom.

One colleague, trying to warn us, came yelling – “Mr. X!!!” (referring that Mr. X was coming).

The teacher came to the classroom and asked us who was yelling. He was told – “our colleague Y”.

“Listen, girl, he said, you’ll have a lot of problems with me. What sort of a person do you think I am, that you need to tell others that I am coming?”.

So, he was actually doing the thing he was feared for – he was aggressive to a person.

I’ve seen the behavior from time to time. Aggressive persons yelling at you – “Why are you scared of me?”.

Well, you can see why.

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Just as it is almost proverbial that, if you want any business done for you, you should ask a busy man to do it, and not a man of leisure, so it is the laborious scholar, who is working hard at languages, who picks up, nay, actually reads and studies more of other subjects than the rest of his fellows at school or college. – Reverend W. J. Kennedy

There’s a saying in Romanian: “La pomul lăudat să nu te duci cu sacul”. This could be translated to: “If someone is praised a lot, don’t set your expectations high, they might be too busy to help you, or the praise might be fake”.

Somehow, I think the two sayings are related one to the other.

On one hand, if someone is busy, it means that they have lots of experience. But it might also mean that they are overwhelmed.

The solution – pick your battles. Choose a busy person for an important person, but calibrate your expectations.

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When I was a child, there were quite some kids outside our flats.

During those times there were much fewer cars, and lots of free space to play on.

Nowadays, the children don’t seem to go out anymore.

I watched some kids playing with skateboards – they were good with this.

Probably, these kids are much better with computers and technology than our generation.

They might take some classes, which in my days it was generally unheard of.

I remember a winter with lots of snow, I live on a street that has a bit of an angle, and it’s a long block of apartments.

The whole street was a place to either slide (it had some ice), or to go via sleighs.

I remember sometimes going to the countryside, to my grandparents.

Back then, I didn’t appreciate nature that much, I was much more in favor of watching cartoons and playing with the computers of the day.

Now, I’m quite happy that my childhood also involved cows and sheep.

What’s the solution? If no parent lets their child/children outside, then the solitary ones might be in danger.

I would just say – consider letting the children play outside and see nature. I’m not saying it’s an ultimate solution, this is just what I would do, as a parent.

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There might be several hats for a person – when you make a sale (optimistic, pushy, presenting the positive) vs. when you do an audit (critical, negative, holding your stance, trying to prove things).

It’s a different thing to be with a friend and with a family member.

With a stranger in your country and with a foreign one.

With someone your age vs. someone with a totally different age.

Hats are good – they force you to become flexible.

That’s why I consider, generally, that traveling is good for the mind.

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Inflexibility – older people tend to become inflexible and not listen carefully.

I guess after you see a lot of things happening in life, there’s no more “this is the first time I…”, there’s more courage “I know I’m worthwhile”, there’s less caring “I don’t care what people think”.

The biggest problem is, in my opinion, the lack of flexibility. “I know what’s right, and I don’t care what others think of it”.

There’s also the counter-balance – when you are older, you might actually gain some flexibility. This is the opposite of what I said earlier.

Paradoxically, when you are young you have principles and values, but also inflections; at a certain age, you can accept some things more easily.

I guess it varies – you become more flexible in certain areas, less flexible in others.

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WhatsApp is not fine – a lot of times, there are no links to content, the videos you get in there are taken out of context (you don’t know the author, you can’t see additional details), you don’t know who originally put a certain picture online (there’s no author).

On Facebook – you don’t have a reverse image search – again, you can’t search.

Facebook’s groups are annoying me, everything is lost in a few days, for active groups.

In a month, you won’t find anything from the past.

You post something today, some people will view it in the following hours, in a matter of days you might get some additional views, and that’s it.

Searching on Facebook is rarely used.

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