Difference of attitude

When you go online on a forum, there are two opposite views: One person comes with an open heart, wants to help, offers resources, gives time, effort and interest to help. That person is positive and welcoming. But, most important, the person’s attitude is “If I can help, I’m willing to help, the world will be better with my input”. Generally, a reply or more comes after that with a sarcastic message, ruining the first impression. Most important, the person feels he/she’s entitled. “I deserve to receive quality posts on the forum, who is this newbie who made a mistake? This is my house, my party, these are my rules.” Unfortunately, this kind of attitude doesn’t do good for either party, as most people prefer not to join the conversation anymore.

Deep love for others

There is more than one kind of love for other entities:

  • You can love God.
  • You can love yourself.
  • You can love close relatives, in a context you are born with.
  • You can love your friends.
  • You can love foreigners.
  • You can love certain actions (like hobbies, or eating chocolate).
  • You can love your significant other.

Out of all these types of love, I think the love for your significant other is one has some specifities.

Citește mai departeDeep love for others

Amour profond pour les autres

Il ya plus d’un genre d’amour pour d’autres entitites:

  • Vous pouvez aimer Dieu.
  • Vous pouvez aimer vous même.
  • Vous pouvez aimer des proches, dans un contexte où vous êtes nés.
  • Vous pouvez aimer vos amis.
  • Vous pouvez aimer des étrangers.
  • Vous pouvez aimer certaines actions (comme des passe-temps, ou manger du chocolat).
  • Vous pouvez aimer votre partenaire significatif.

De tous ces types d’amour, je pense que l’amour pour votre autre significatif est on a quelques spécificités.

Citește mai departeAmour profond pour les autres

Extremes and averages

Whenever a party speaks of another party, most often they refer to exterme behaviors. “Some religious persons do this very offending thing”. “Some atheists do this very offending thing”. “A few writers do this, which means that most writers do that”. It’s very hard to get yourself out of the thinking that extreme behavior does not equal average. We have it in our system – we look for the error, thinking that the average must follow the same rule. News flash – it doesn’t.

Unde să construiești un magazin anti-competiție?

Dacă aș fi client, aș vrea să fie un magazin amplasat cât mai departe de un alt magazin. Aș prefera să am un magazin în nord, unul în sud, și tot așa. Dacă aș fi vânzător, și aș ști că în centrul orașului e un magazin magnet, aș face magazinul fix în centru, și, mai mult, l-aș face chiar vizavi de acel magazin. Dacă îmi fac magazinul în nord, practic cedez concurenței mele orice altă zonă decât zonele apropiate mie. E o logică diferită, din perspective diferite.

Why the long post?

It appears to be futile – writing a long post on a subject. After all, most blog posts, even those with a clear demonstration behind them, can be turned into something smaller. Well, it helps. It helps you become better in the process of writing. Going through the path of writing a message makes you a better person. You work for it. Some of my blog posts tend to look rather stupid. Simple ideas, repeated, at times, obsessively. Well, I like them, nevertheless, and I learn from writing them, despite of this. Case study – sometimes, when I go to an event, I photograph weird things – the entrance, some objects in the room, a logo. Most people would focus a lot on the speaker, less on the organizers, and very few times on the participants. My focus tends to differ. I don’t go around in the room photographing objects. But I do photograph lots of things, and this helps me make a photo story which tends to be not necessarily easier to follow, but easier to remember. The photo at the entrance helps you connect with the room. The various photos in the room help you connect with the audience. And so on. Another case study – yesterday I resized a partition. I thought the process would last for a few seconds, but it lasted for about 15 hours. I couldn’t cancel the operation, once started, so I had to wait to finish. The whole day I checked on the status, to see how much it would last. …

Citește mai departeWhy the long post?

Mon âme

Quand j’étais petit, j’ai été élevé par une tante. J’etais très libre, sans restrictions, de temps en temps laissé seul, jusqu’à ce que j’avais 3 ans. Après cela, j’ai été élevé de 3 à 18 ans à Năvodari. Pendant ce passage de Pîrjol à Năvodari, j’ai gardé en moi un désir de liberté (et de solitude), qui est une émotion fondamentale en moi. Quand j’étais à Năvodari, j’ai eu le sentiment que pour être aimé, vous devez vous comporter comme un bon enfant. J’ai été élevé différemment à Pîrjol, où peu importe ce que j’ai fait, j’étais encore aimé. Où cette chose mène? J’ai préféré être sans amour, plutôt que sans liberté. Donc, je suis resté non aimé (c’était mon sentiment, avec les personnes à Pîrjol loin de moi, et les personnes à Năvodari pas proche), mais libre, plutôt que aimé et avec des règles. Mon système de valeurs est basé sur deux choses: 1. Je suis libre, je peux faire ce que je veux, je brise des choses, je suis un héros, je me sacrifie, je donne tout, je n’ai pas de règles. 2. Je ne m’aime pas et je ne peux pas aimer les autres, parce que je n’ai pas de système pour me positionner à la famille. La vue depuis l’espace de mon enfance est la suivante: J’ai été élevé par une tante + oncle à Pîrjol, Bacău, en riant, heureux, aimé, gâté, bien traité, jusqu’à ce que j’aie 3 ans. À 3 ans venir à Năvodari, Constanţa, mère , Père, aimé, …

Citește mai departeMon âme

My soul

When I was little, I was raised by an aunt very free, no restrictions, from time to time left alone, until I was 3. After that, I was raised from 3 to 18 years in Năvodari. During this passage from Pîrjol to Năvodari, I kept in me a wish for freedom (and loneliness), which is a basic emotion in me. When I was at Năvodari, I had a feeling that in order to be loved, you need to behave as a good kid. I was raised differently at Pîrjol, where no matter what I did, I was still loved. Where this thing lead to? I preferred to be without love, rather than without freedom. So I remained non-loved (this was my feeling, with the persons in Pîrjol far away from me, and the persons in Năvodari not close), but free, rather than loved and with rules. My system of values is based on two things: 1. I am free, I can do whatever I wish, I break things, I’m a hero, I sacrifice myself, I give away everything, I have no rules. 2. I don’t love myself and I cannot love others, because I don’t have a system to position myself to the family. The view from space of my childhood is the following: I was raised by an aunt + uncle in Pîrjol, Bacău, laughter, happy, loved, spoiled, well treated, until I was 3. At 3 years coming to Năvodari, Constanța, mother, father, loved, raised well, appreciated. The reality in my heart is not …

Citește mai departeMy soul

Statistici și extrapolări

Văd, periodic, extrapolări făcute pe baza unor mici statistici – “persoanei X i-a funcționat bine aparatul electrocasnic produs de firma Y, asta înseamnă că firma Y face produse de calitate”. Sau “firma de curierat Z a făcut o livrare greșită. Prin urmare, toate livrările de la firma de curierat Z sunt greșite”. Sau “magazinul online M a avut un angajat care la un moment dat s-a purtat necuviincios. Prin urmare, toți angajații magazinului M sunt de ocolit”. Unele din aceste observații pot fi valide. Însă să îți faci o regulă generală, pornind de la o singură situație, e o abordare greșită.