Non-practice

I recently listened to a podcast in which this topic came up: Mircea Cărtărescu A Dat Autografe Timp De Cinci Ore La Madrid! | Libertatea. (perhaps, a different location)

There are places online you can buy books with autographs.

I once read a book by Gala Galaction („La răspântie de veacuri„) (hope I’m not wrong with the reference) in which one character was supposed to meet a famous person, an author.

The character declined, saying something on the line of – „I want to meet this person when I have something similar to show.

I asked for a few autographs, mostly for books that were meant for other people.

But, generally, I avoid asking for autographs. I value the time of the author too much.

I think the author’s time would be better spent doing other things than signing books.

To keep Mircea Cărtărescu for hours just signing books is not how I view a time well spent.

In my opinion, when a famous person signs an autograph, they let you know „look, we are on the same level, you and I are the same, and, by giving an autograph, I testify for this”.

At the end of the day, there’s just a small, tiny, little problem – you are not at the same level as the author.

Citește mai departe

Years ago, I was part of the CHiP Forum Romania. (Now the website doesn’t exist.)

At some point, there was a talk about the USA’s invasion of Iraq.

People kept saying, as if it was the most natural thing in the world – „the politicians are lying about the real reasons for the invasion of Iraq. It’s mostly about oil, but they can’t say it bluntly”.

At that point, I was shocked. I used to believe the public agenda, and it was shocking to hear an opposing view.

Citește mai departe

“It’s tough to make predictions, especially about the future.” ― Yogi Berra

Citește mai departe

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” ― Søren Kierkegaard

Citește mai departe

An important part of my job is about giving feedback to others.

Some people reply to my feedback, giving feedback to my feedback.

I think it’s a poor solution for two reasons:

• It prolongs a negative state. Giving constant feedback for a few hours at a time puts me in a negative feedback loop. When I read someone else’s feedback on my feedback, that negative state is prolonged. For the customer, when they read, in about an hour or so, my feedback, they get into negative feedback. If they reply to my feedback, they put themselves in an even more negative state.
• Another reason is that it generally tends to increase the reasons for not solving things – „Oh, I can’t do this”, „Oh, life is hard”, „Oh, but there are obstacles”. Writing about problems, difficulties, and reasons not to do something actually increases your chance of not taking any action on my feedback.

So, how should one respond to feedback, in my opinion?

• Either implement or reject. You can implement today, you can postpone, you can keep it for further analysis at a later stage, or you can simply dismiss my solution. This is a valid solution.
• Another option? Don’t tell me „I can’t do this, because of reason X”. Instead, frame your assertion like a question: „Hmm, your feedback is valid, but as I see it, the implementation is difficult for reasons X, Y, and Z. What do you think about it?”. If you ask for feedback, I will tell you my reasoning for which I gave the initial feedback and help you overcome the obstacles. If you tell me „Life is hard,” I say a polite sentence, then ignore you.

Citește mai departe

I’m not entirely sure, but I think Mihnea Măruță said something like:

„Politician X didn’t know how to keep a woman close to him for X years”.

Some people do couples therapy. One way to promote themselves is by saying they have been married a lot of times.

I think increasing the number of marriages also increases the number of divorces by a single person.

I’ve seen someone valuing marriages & relationships – if you don’t show enough vulnerability to be in a relationship, you might not be trustworthy.

Citește mai departe

I heard this thing many years ago, it stayed with me:

• Women open up, show vulnerability, and admit to mistakes. After they do this, other women tend to protect and care for that wound, treating it with care.
• Men toughen up, never show vulnerability or mistakes. If they do this as an exception, other men attack and use the weakness against that person.

Initially, the person who told me about this told it in such a way that the woman’s behavior and solution are optimal. In my opinion, the optimal behavior is this:

• Open up like women, and use the weakness against the person, like men.

I think opening up an issue and then being confronted with it, being mocked about it, seeing it repeatedly, has the option of making one more powerful. Tougher, if you want.

Citește mai departe

This is important – why do good?

For one important reason, which tends to be overlooked – for the good itself.

Do good because it’s OK & nice & kind & best & top to be good.

This is why you should do it.

Citește mai departe