Sometimes, you might hear, during a job interview, or talk with a psychologist, or just a friendly chat – „Could you give me an example?”.
At first, when I used to hear this question, it felt silly – „It’s just an example, it doesn’t mean much”. After some thinking, I got to the opposite conclusion. Why is that?
Apparently, the question is wrong – it asks for a specific example, and it somehow takes some space from the wide liberty you’ve given yourself. It puts some fences in a wide space of thinking.
But, after I thought for a while (a few years, actually), I discovered that those examples which strike you the most are the most vivid and powerful ones.
So, if someone asks you „What’s your worst fear?”. When you get to talk about it and give some examples when it actually happens, you might notice that those examples are the ones that you attach the fear with. So, if you say you’re afraid of heights, and this reminds you initially of an incident in childhood, that single incident might be the key why you’re afraid of heights.
At an interview, you may say „I increased my team’s performance at job X”. And, when asked for details on this, it’s good if you can be specific and point out one time when you did just that. That single example is most likely not a random example, but the example which is the crown of your performance at job X. If you decide to pick an example, that example generally is the best you could have picked.
In the examples above, I presented two situations – an emotional one (fear of heights), and a logical/rational one (team performance).
From my experience, if you really think about giving an example, sometimes you might be able to come up with a better response for a rational type of answer, but for the emotional ones, the very first ones, the first image that pops up into your mind, the first emotions that come over you are also the most relevant.
For solving personal dilemmas, I thought a lot of times at answers I used to give when talking to psychologists. And I was angry at the question, I didn’t feel it was a fine question to ask anyone. Now I don’t think like this.
