Mistake 1: Thinking people give feedback the way they want to receive it
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One of the hardest things I’ve had to learn is that humans aren’t pure functions: an input that works one day and gets one result, then again another day and get an entirely different result.
The same is true of how people give and receive feedback: someone may give you feedback in a particular way, but they prefer to receive much differently when it comes to themselves.
This happens to me quite a lot. I sometimes give a lot of feedback, some of it is perceived as aggressive, but when others give feedback to me, when others tell me some things, I tend to overreact.
I’ve gotten better with both parts, I think, as time passed by – I was able to receive feedback without getting upset, and I was able to give feedback which is as little emotional as possible.
Still, at the end of the day, there’s a gap between how I give and how I receive feedback.
Two battles:
- When I give feedback: „Why don’t you like this? It helps you grow!”.
- When I receive it: „I know it helps me grow, but it’s not easy to take in”.
