Some people ask for lots of things. They want this, and that, and then put some conditions, oh, and don’t forget about this, how about that, and so on.
I’ve found that if I ask for something simple in return, suddenly the criteria change. Why do I ask for this? Why do I need this? OK, but it will be done very late. I don’t have time.
I once organized a series of meetings in Bucharest. At the second meeting, we were supposed to have both a meeting at a coffee shop and some PowerPoint slides, but there was a logistical misunderstanding, and I couldn’t use a digital projector to show the PowerPoint. One person was very upset. I told her I would hold the presentation just for her, and do a one-to-one meeting on the spot, just for her, basically having all the advantages of a previous meeting, not to mention having the presentation just for her. She was upset and didn’t take my suggestion well. She left the meeting, although we could have stayed around the coffee table.
I then changed the format of the meeting just for that person and switched to a PowerPoint-only series of meetings.
We held the events for years, but the person never came.
Years later, the person came back. During that day, she saw a PowerPoint presentation, and then some more.
At the end of the meeting, she came to me, and said – „Look, all these PowerPoint meetings are fine, but could you organize some meetings around a coffee table?”.
There’s a saying in economics:
Milton Friedman — Human wants and needs are infinite, which means there is always more to do.” ― Calum Chace, The Economic Singularity: Artificial intelligence and the death of capitalism
Remember my saying about how people don’t think of us/others as much as we might think? :) We’re the centre of our universe, but not others’.
As in, in this case maybe that lady had some issues at home/work, and that’s why she was rather snippy and left immediately; odds are she didn’t get so upset just because of the lack of Powerpoint. Remember you only see the tip of the iceberg when seeing a person’s reactions, her inner life is complex and inaccessible.
In the next few years, again, you don’t really know what happened in her life, maybe she was sick, tired, or simply uninterested in the topic. It’s not a given that if she wanted to be at a presentation once, now she will want and need to be present forever.
I actually find endearing that she wanted coffee table meetings 🙂 So she did appreciate the event when she did come! Again I really doubt it was simply the presence of Powerpoint to explain such a marked difference in behaviour, especially since we’re talking about years that have passed between the two events. People do change in years, and their life generally changes too.
I really feel that lady was unfairly maligned, and I think you took too personally something that really wasn’t; you know my other theory about people’s reactions being caused mostly by their life and experiences (previous issues, previous biases, etc) than by whatever person or event is in front of them at the time.
Signed, someone who doesn’t love that kind of events and would also scram at the earliest occasion (but this has nothing to do with the organisers! They could be amazing chaps that have done a great job, with or without Powerpoint; it’s just not my thing 🙂🙂🙂)
Yes, I do have a tendency to take things personally. My bad. :)
I look at my life and consider I’ve changed as years passed.
I mentioned the story for two reasons:
a. In the first occasion, the lady was very upset, she made some scandal about it, and this affected me. When, after years passed, she switched her opinions entirely, I was relieved;
b. To me, it’s a good example of a change of views.