In “Chris Voss Teaches The Art of Negotiation”, the speaker sometimes refers to “calibrated question” – these help put things into context.
I have this problem – it’s difficult for me, sometimes, to give the general context.
I tend to focus on the small detail, on the little aspect, on the minor things.
Seeing the overall story is difficult.
Even when I think of future plans, it’s hard for me to say an overall conclusion. I tend to say “If all goes well, then …”.
It’s rare of me to say “we’ll do so-and-so”, because you can’t be 100% sure, and I don’t feel like making a promise I can’t keep.
How can I solve this?
- One option is to state my emotions. “I feel about X situation so-and-so”.
- Another option is to try and summarize things.
- Also, from time to time, to make promises without having 100% certainty of a situation. 90% might just be good enough.
Coming back to the phrase which opened this article, I once asked a person “So, what’s up with that?”. It was a long-thought question, I prepared for it. It helped defuse a situation, and it took both me and the receiver by surprise.
A question to help equalize the things is surely helpful.
