Poem: „Winning obsession” – by Olivian Breda

„I need to win!”,

I always hear.

Mostly by people speaking in English,

So, this poem needs to be addressed to them.

When you play,

When they play,

When I play,

Winning is the main aim.

There is no game, actually,

Everything, even games, is a competition.

(I have to correct my spelling when I write,

There must be no mistakes.

„No excuses!”)

There is no mercy,

There is no acceptance for 2^nd place,

Whoever gives in even a small thing – loses.

There are no „almost-winners”,

There is no forgiveness,

And, worse of all, there are no friends.

Because how can you be a friend to someone

Who asks of you to be perfect in everything?

Who always asks you never to make a mistake?

„We are the champions?”

OK, you can be the champion.

But, please, pretty please, don’t call me „friend”.

Sure, you say,

„We are the champions, my friends”.

You own me as a friend,

I’m part of your properties,

I owe you my best behavior.

I disagree with you,

And agree with:

„Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:34)

Forget and forgive,

Rinse and repeat,

Forgive some more,

Forget even more,

Accept losing as a gift,

And ask from yourself ask you will ask from others:

Nothing.

There is a state of +/-

And there is a state of 0.

Go into the state of zero.

Do nothing,

Care for nothing,

Forget everything,

Owe everything to everyone,

Do good and expect nothing.

It’s not good to play the fool,

The madman,

The always loser,

The always-annoying-others,

To be the silly one in a group,

As this will likely generate negative emotions in others.

If you annoy people by being the fool,

It’s not so good.

But if you always strive for perfection,

If you hide away in you everything related to an emotion,

If you only ask for top-notch,

You might not accept losing,

Second place,

Forgiveness.

So, what’s the solution?

What do you mean, by „solution”?

There can’t be a solution to this paradigm.

How can there be a solution for not winning,

For accepting to lose,

For considering losing – a viable option?

I think even Nicolae Steinhardt had this to some degree.

I admire him a lot, but even he might have tried to be perfect.

So, what’s the solution?

Stop trying.

PS, 2020.06.26 – I have to write this,

That there’s music in me yet.

You need to learn not to avenge,

Not to be upset when you lose,

And for this, you need to accept losing,

Accept the weakness,

Accept the fault.

Forgiveness is the key,

Winning is not.