Yesterday, 4th of November, 2009, I took part to a workshop on theater with Maria-Francesca Dogaru.
Some funny things I’ve noticed about myself:
a. I filter information a lot and scan things quickly:
– There was this game in which you had to look carefully at another person, sitting half a meter away from you, then turn around, then look again at the person and notice what small changes that person did; I noticed zero things that were changed; My personal observations included only clothing and color, I didn’t notice the way the blouse was, the accessories (a wrist watch) and the way the hair was done;
b. I’m highly judgmental (and I filter information):
– Some person asked about a Zodiac Sign; The answer was completely irrelevant, I didn’t even hear it (it doesn’t matter what you answer to this, unless you prove some advanced knowledge of zodiacal signs, or you’re highly enthusiastic in your answer, you can pretty much answer anything); But the question itself was intriguing – Who would ask such a [place for non-flattering judgmental attribute] question?
– A person had to speak about herself; I can remember that: she was a mother of a 2 years old child (I respect that), she was 24 (being a mother at 22 is quite an achievement) and she was married (interesting status); That was it; That’s all I remembered; The asked Maria-Francesca DOGARU asked (as a memory exercise) a participant about the name of her child; Since this was an irrelevant piece of information (I’d never use it), I didn’t even try to remember it; Then they’ve asked me if I remember if she had pets; What? Who cares? Having pets tells me two things: some stuff on the social part (this is a plus), and some parts on the eco-friendly part (that is a minus); But still, they’re so much irrelevant, that it has zero importance; It seems there was this question from another participant and she answered; I didn’t hear the question, I didn’t hear the answer, and all-in-all, it was fine for me to do so; On the other hand, it’s hard for me to forget the three things she said (mother at 22, married); The other things are really irrelevant; Filtering is great!
c. I pay little attention to two things at the same time (and I filter information):
– There was this game when we were suppose to say things about the other participants; My focus was so high on trying to remember each person’s attribute, that I ignored all that there was around me;
d. I’m bad at coordinating things (and consider it fine):
– An exercise consisted in making a machine out of human movements; The machine mechanism had to work fine; At some point I had to make this decision: either see that my part of the mechanism worked fine (and I had this movement which implied both hands, a circle in the air, weird) or see what the others were doing; The first part involved making sure that the exercise went well, while the other option was my personal curiosity and development – how would others do their part of the mechanism? So I ignored the mechanism and watched others; Of course, I coordinated things poorly, but I did see what others have done;
– At the end of the day there was this exercise in which one had to listen to a story, answer to two types of questions (of personal life and of Mathematics) and do body movements in the same time; Scary;
– I’ve done 2 years+ of karate, some theater and some korfball; I’ve had really really big troubles with coordinating; I’m sure it’s a skill nice to have, but since: I’ll never drive a car, I don’t mind bumping into things, stepping on toes, hitting objects, and finally not catching objects thrown at me, I’m fine with this; It’s also not that easy to improve (I’ve tried);
e. If I focus, I’m pretty good with words (blogger?):
– Besides the fact that I didn’t listen to the story for 15 seconds and lost some elements of it, I was pretty good at continuing a story;
f. It’s more important how I say/do things than how they’re perceived:
– One exercise was the one with the crocodiles: all other three members in my team mimed the jaws of the crocodiles, continuously opening and closing (I won’t debate on the logic of this); Thus, from a distance, their crocodiles looked real; Me, on the other hand, considered that the head of the crocodile is a natural thing, it’s just the way it supposed to be and if I had to move something, that would be the feet;
g. I like to do things differently:
– On the complex machine out of body movements I tried to come with a different approach (which was rather difficult to coordinate for me); I didn’t like the idea of four crocodiles moving the same way; And I’m soooooooo fine with filtering unimportant elements;
h. I liked to see breaking the rules:
– Prior to the crocodiles game, another team did the same game; They didn’t talk to each other, they acted independently; Maria-Francesca DOGARU ignored this, and we talked as a team how to make things funnier and easier; Funny thing;
i. There’s something with my attention:
– I can focus on things really good, remember stuff, while I can be in the same room and hear nothing;
– If I think of something and the other person is speaking with me, I hear nothing;
j. There was this thing called reaction to surprise:
– Most of the participants in the room, whenever reacting to something new, got to laugh; Surprise! Laugh! My reaction was different; Surprise! Think about it! Stress goes high! Ignore stress! Manage your reaction! A bit afraid! Ignore fear! React!
– Yes, that’s a really simple mechanism; Put it simple, other people’s reaction was laughter, mine was fear (which I tried to control; I do this so well, that the answer to the question below was – “Fine”; I’m a bit afraid, but I’m fine with it; I feel a bit fear, but nevertheless we’re fine);
k. Finally, to answer the question in the title: “How I felt”?
– Generally I don’t ask this question; Instead, my question is more pragmatic, going into something like: What will I gain from this? What will I lose out of this? In the case of theater, the answers would be:
i. Plus: I’ll learn to focus more on other people (no matter how much irrelevant this may seem);
ii. Plus: It’s a great way to evaluate my current level of [place attribute here], compared other people;
iii. Neutral: It’s exciting (this isn’t good or bad, it’s just neutral);
iv. Minus: I could do other things in the same time;
– Going really into the feelings part, my mind goes like this to the question “How do I feel?”:
i. All the time the worst I get is “Fine”;
ii. From time to time I can be ecstatic, thrilled;
iii. Besides being fine, I’m bored a lot (but still fine);
iv. There’s never “Bad”, “Poorly”, “Sad”; If I feel that I’m losing time in there, I’d never return to theater; If, for one reason or another, I do come and participate to the following workshops on theater, I can’t (this is the word) feel anything but “Fine”;
v. If I were to describe the exact feeling I’ve got, that would be similar to “no peace” (I’ve got an ID in Romanian similar to “fără pace”); And yet fine with it;
vi. Was it pleasure? It was an excitement for which I answered with controlled fear, and was happy with it; In the same time I learned new things; The pleasure itself is out of the question;
(as you can see, answering “Fine” to the “How do I feel?” is a much rapid conclusion, so I’ll stick to it)
Bottom line: I liked the workshop, I felt fine [place for emoticon], and I’ll sure take part to the next workshop; In fact I liked it so much, that it really put emphasis on me doing theater again (I’ll write a blog post soon on why this won’t be done that soon).