How to have more courage? More courage, please!

Below, I present some techniques for building courage. I based my article on some research I did only. Take this with caution; this is not to be taken as a guide but rather as a personal exploration of what I could do in order to be braver.

First, what is courage?

„Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” – Winston Churchill

 

“The scariest moment is always just before you start. After that, things can only get better.” — Stephen King

 

What is fear?

I can’t find a detailed quote, but I heard this first from Cătălin Zaharia, I think:

We are the descendents of the people who ran away from the wolves.

So, fear can be good; if you keep charging at wolves, you might get into trouble.

Should you avoid fear at all costs?

Fear is a nice response to threatening situations.

From fear, we get: Freeze!-Fight!-Flight!

And we live to see the next day, like in the example below (the situation changes 100% afterward, they actually go to battle):

– William Wallace: Will you fight?
– (crowd) No!
– (individual) Against that? No! We will run! And we will live!


Source: Braveheart: Freedom Speech – YouTube.

What are some reasons for fear?

  • Not winning – fearing failure or rejection;
  • Not wishing to change – change or uncertainty of the future;
  • Other’s reactions – being judged or ridiculed.

How to beat your fears and have more courage?

The list below doesn’t come from me, as a professional, but from me, as a person going through life and then reading some things online. It should not be taken as a guide:

  • Know yourself – This is a key aspect in life; you need to know yourself and make the best decision;
  • Identify what scares you – First, let’s start with the issue – what drives you, what makes you fearful?;
  • What’s your worst fear? – Once you know what scares you, put your finger on your worst fear; imagining your worst fear can help you see that it is not that big of a problem;
  • Acknowledge your fear – Admit there’s an issue, and start focusing on that;
  • Describe your fears – Put them out there – in a journal, in a conversation with a close friend;
  • Identify your strengths – See what your strong points are and how these can help you with your fears;
  • Know your limits – Accept that you can’t solve all the problems on your own;
  • Know others (resources, objects, people) – You’ll next some external help; what form could this take?
  • Know the situation (know your options) – See the context; the fears are not sealed in a vacuum; see the surroundings;
  • Clarify your values – You’ll need to react to fears in such a way that is aligned with your personal values;
  • Have a compelling why – Why do you want to fight your fears? Find an answer to this;
  • Look for the heroes – See who you can model – What other people handled the situation better than you?
  • Examine different scenarios – What can you do? What are your options?
  • Take small brave steps – Don’t start with the elephant; („A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” – via)
  • Confront your fear – Take action, do the opposite; afraid of dogs? Try to be around them; afraid of a path? Try taking it, nevertheless;
  • Make confronting fear it a habit – Once you’ve done a choice once, try to turn it into a habit;
  • Celebrate courageous actions – Give yourself a pat on the shoulder when you have some success, no matter how small;
  • Exercise 20 seconds of insane courage – From time to time (how about once a week?) try something really out of your comfort zone; this might build confidence;
  • Think positively (Believe in yourself) – Don’t put the problems and errors in front of you; consider you’ll succeed;
  • Say “I love you” – “When is a monster not a monster? Oh, when you love it.” ― Caitlyn Siehl, Literary Sexts: A Collection of Short & Sexy Love Poems;
  • See yourself as courageous (Placebo effect) – If you imagine things your way, being brave and successful, you might have bigger chances of making a dream come true; but what am I saying? Let’s use Placebo and say you’ll surely succeed by doing this;
  • Carry a talisman (Placebo effect) – If you can bring an external object or entity and involve it in the process, and if you think this will help, this might actually do;
  • Embrace failure (Don’t aim for perfection) – Accept some failure, and don’t expect things to go 100% perfect;
  • Continue to learn – Failed once? Learn from it, and avoid repeating the mistakes;
  • Keep trying – Don’t build a task (do it, fail, stop); instead – build a system (do it, fail; do it again, fail; do it again until you succeed; never ever stop); „… never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never-in nothing, great or small, large or petty — never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense” (America’s National Churchill Museum | Never Give In, Never, Never, Never)
  • Get support and accountability with coaching – There are people who are trained in helping others succeed with their plans; get their support;

Resources used for this article and additional reading

Tst

 

gusdiaz - "Courage doesn't always roar
gusdiaz – „Courage doesn’t always roar, https://flic.kr/p/ZUtUUv

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