My life learning experiences at a training with Jim BAGNOLA and Florin TALPEȘ, 2010.06.04, Radisson BLU

In the morning of the 4^th of June I headed to Radisson BLU hotel in Bucharest to see what was to be (I would soon discover) yet another great experience in the company of Jim BAGNOLA (personal site in Romanian and English, LinkedIn profile, Facebook profile). The event was organized by LEADERS Romania, a foundation I proudly joined back in 2002.

A. Jim BAGNOLA‘s training

What have I jotted down, as a good student?

– All the behavior your receive from kids, employees, peers is the behavior that we model, tolerate, reinforce;
– I liked this example:

(from the CEO to the employees, either criticism or empowerment flows; the CEO thus decides what the final customer will hear from the employees);
– The most important rule in Customer Service: the customer would not get treated any better than the employee has been treated (so you should treat your employee the same way you would want them to treat the customers);
– We are all managers of energy – we either

energize OR
de-energize others;

– Manager’s or leader’s job: turning talent into performance;
– You can’t coach talent, but you can coach both skills and knowledge;
– Some meetings should be held standing up (they would last less time);
– A lie detector detects both thoughts and emotions;
– Telling is not teaching; asking is teaching;
– Simplicity is really profound;
– You are responsible to pupils, not for pupils when you’re a teacher;
– You are able to control your own emotions;
– We treat employees equally by treating them differently;
– People fire themselves, you do not fire them;
– It’s great to practice meditation;
– The biggest causes of death:

heart disease;
cancer;

– Factors of stress:

Job dissatisfaction;
Lack of happiness;

– Factors for cancer:

Smoking;
Bad diet;

– Friday has the least number of deaths (“You think I’m gonna die before the week-end?”);
– Avoid using “But” or it’s equivalent – “However” -, instead use “and”; “but” negates all that it has been said before it;
– We all have different knowledge, each has its power;
– Some of the most powerful words out there – “I don’t know” (it’s so hard saying this);
– If you have 90 people in your company, you should use their intelligence and skills;
– If you listen to others, the others are listening to you;
– When you become perfect, you die (there’s nothing else to do anymore);
– While I’m perfect, my behavior can be improved;
– If you are a coach, you must be able to tell others how they can improve;
– Two principles on feed-back:

You should be honest on the improving side;
A person is a different thing from it’s behavior;

– YouTube fun: Jim BAGNOLA showed us this video during the training;
– You should treat the people in your company like they’re volunteers;
– A thing to think about: how to engage your employee’s minds?
– Soft skills are actually hard;
– Without consequences, coaching doesn’t work;
– Whenever holding a conversation, people are usually either firing or reloading (they say something or they prepare to say the next thing, rather than being active in the current conversation and paying attention to what the other party says); how to change this? It’s better to listen and reflect;
– For self-disclosure you should use personal examples (“I also tend to …”);
– Men would rather be right than happy;
– Regarding feed-back within a company – it’s better to give performance appraisals more often (let’s say, once a month) rather than rarely (yearly? No way!);

Some things Jim BAGNOLA says:

– “Does that make sense to everybody?” (if you don’t say a loud No to this, you’d have to agree);
– “Yes, it’s not true, it just looks like it’s true” (very cool way of disagreeing);
– “Let’s give him a hand” (encouraging);
– “It’s not about me, it’s about my behavior” (separating the person from the idea);

What I liked about Jim BAGNOLA?

– He adapts (at a certain situation, he almost started a question in which the persons present at the training should speak in small groups; well, a participant said loudly his personal example; at this point, he could either continue with working in small groups or ask other participants to give examples, adapting to the situation; he did the latter);
– He has an exercise which is his trademark (an exercise with hands, you can see it here);

And a question:

– “If I’d knew the answer, what would it be?” (coaching question to get an answer in an seemingly impossible situation);
– “How to become a professional human being” (now that’s a question!);

B. Florin TALPEȘ’s speech

What I’ve written at his speech?

– Book to read: “Employeescu” by Adina LUCA;
– Movie to see: “Glissando” (1985) by Mircea DANIELIUC;
– Reverse mentoring is a hot concept;
– When you ask a person what

he wants – you get vague answers;
he doesn’t want – you get precise answers;

– It’s a lot of “noise” in the background until you can find a model;
– Study to read: “Families Across Cultures. A 30-Nation Psychological Study”, Edited by James GEORGAS;
– In Romania the middle management is made predominantly by women;
– The new generation has this principles:

Honesty;
Need for a match between their personal values and the values of the organization;
Listening to the other party;

– Generation X is not socially involved; when, after time passes, you have a good financial situation, you have the time for social involvement, togive back to the society;
– The harsh realities (mistakes, failures) can change a person;
– The modern learning is not made from the books anymore;
– The digital divide is mostly between rural and urban, rather than between different age groups;
– In Romania we are still learning about greed; it’s not a finished process; we don’t yet have a bad opinion about greed;