Let’s say X does something wrong. What should you do?
- You have the option of complaining. You’ll help others avoid the same mistake you’ve made.
- You have the option of putting some rules. If X damages your property, you want to make sure the next time something will be different, from X knowing that the thing is a wrong thing to do, to not having a contact with X anymore.
- You have the option of ignoring this and moving forward. I’ll talk about this option here:
- If you ignore the thing X does to you, it will haunt you. You’ll think about that thing, and it will consume you. But, mostly, you will tend to focus on your mistakes in the relationship with X (not filtering things right at the beginning, ignoring some signs, not taking precautions). Thus, you’ll tend to solve things better next time. You’ll be better at handling business the next time.
- X can change. If X does something wrong to me, yes, I can tell everybody about my side of the story. But I am believer in human improvement. I don’t think that one who did a mistake will always repeat that mistake. That person may do so, but it also may not.
- It’s OK to give detailed feed-back to X, in order to improve. But, mostly, that feed-back needs to be asked for, not given without a request. You can and may give feed-back chaotically, but it’s not always a good idea.
It is possible that if take action and give some feed-back to X, X will improve, forced by my behavior. It is also possible that if I ignore the evil X did to me, I’m taken as a sucker. But I think, overall, it’s the best strategy. Sometimes, it fails. But I think, all-in-all, this is the way to go. You can’t go through life without making some mistakes, and sometimes others will mistake towards you. It’s better to be open and trustworthy from the beginning, than suspicious and only have precaution. Put some trust in humanity!
Also, a quote:
You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. (Matthew 7:5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.)
You generally should have better things to do than fix other people’s problem.
Another reason is that these fights tend to backfire – X does something wrong to you, you fight back. There is feed-back taken by X, which might be good or not, but also good people tend, then, to be afraid to talk and speak their minds. So, you give a angry feed-back at X, but innocent people, by passers, receive the same message badly.
On the other hand, if X is not open even to communication, hides from any feed-back, treats you with arrogance, you can consider giving some feed-back.
